Nick entered my life as unexpectedly as Shawn left it.
As much as I feel like my life situation is unprecedented, his side of it really is too. So, I decided to ask him a few questions to gain his perspective. He loves this stuff. Maybe? Probably…
What was your first reaction when I told you I had a fiancé who passed away by suicide?
I was shocked. I felt really bad for you and wanted to learn more. I was surprised that you were able to pick yourself up and were looking to start over again. Although, I think that’s healthy. Everyone has their own pace. It would have taken me much longer to get back out there I think.
Did this change your perspective of me as a potential person to date? If so, how?
No, not really. The fact that you showed you were willing to commit to someone for so long was a quality that I was attracted to.
What are the challenges in dating me—in terms of being a survivor of suicide loss?
I have to try and be a little more careful about what I say. I had to get over the idea of being jealous or being compared. Loving you and still allowing you time to grieve because obviously that process isn’t over. Being respectful while you celebrate Shawn’s life and spend time with his family—and not get in the way of that too much.
Were there any fears in dating me?
I have fears in dating everyone. It’s not just you. One of my biggest fears though is that you would wake up one day and think, “This is not the life I planned on at all. I’m not ready for this.”
What are the greatest benefits of dating me?
You’ve been through a lot. I think that helps you to cherish and appreciate me fully. You understand the importance of being happy and putting yourself in a good situation. We also just have a lot in common and similar ideas on life—we’re both attitude era. (This is the only wrestling reference I’ll allow-haha!) I love seeing you be happy. I love making you laugh. Your perspective on life is admirable—you appreciate everything more because you have experienced loss. Overall, you make me a more positive person.
What do you think it is about your personality/life that helped us be successful in our relationship?
We both have been in love and had that taken away. There is some sort of kinship and camaraderie that that brings. I like that we are able to sit around and have discussions on important and kind of intense topics. I think my humor helped attract you to me. (Umm….sure, that is it! :)) My faith also pushes me to take our relationship more seriously. I want our relationship to have meaning and not be surface level. I’m just into commitment. I don’t really date casually. (I actually love this about him!) Once you open up to me and it’s a match, I will be dedicated to you.
Do you want to say anything else?
You are cute as a button.
I love Nick’s spirit. I love his ability to not take life too seriously. He was the type of person I thought I needed for this time in my life, but ended up being the person I wanted.
Largely because of him, I am able to live, laugh, and love again. What greater gift is there than that?