October 12th is not just my birthday. I am lucky enough to share this day with my twin sister, my wombmate, my built in best friend, Abby.
Abby and I have both experienced significant and traumatic loss in our short 31 years of life. I often question, “Why us?” Why does so much pain and loss have to happen to us? Other than – life is just not fair sometimes – I do not have an answer to this question. What I do know is that God created Abby and I together. One of my biggest support systems in life has been with me since before birth and for that I am extremely grateful.
I talk about Gracie being with me in the moments shortly before and after I learned Shawn passed away, but Abby was right there with me too. She was on the phone with me as I desperately searched for Shawn that morning and she was the first family member I told about his death. I have absolutely no recollection of what I said to Abby that morning, but what I do remember is that she was there for me. She has been there for me since that moment.
Thank you for the thousands of encouraging texts and messages you have sent to me. Thank you for remembering the 29th every single month and checking in on me. Thank you for selflessly giving up time with your own family to be with me. Thank you for sharing your sweet, silly, (not) sassy son with me. You both bring me so much happiness. Thank you for listening to me. Thank you for being right at my side when I needed you the most. Thank you for being my best friend.
You are strong, thoughtful, smart, and beautiful. You are the best “mom, mommy, mom, mom” to Jase and best sister to me.
Together we have cried too many tears. Together we have faced challenges and loss. Together we have experienced more pain and heartache than any 31 year olds should have to. But, we have together.
I love you, Abs! I hope you have the best birthday!