Well, it’s July. The month I was supposed to be marrying my best friend. I remember reading a book on the stages of grief in graduate school for my counseling class. Then thinking after Shawn passed away, that my grief would progress in a similar manner. I was wrong. Grief is not linear; it does not follow rules. The feelings and emotions experienced may be universal, but there are no direct patterns. At least in my experience.
Often times this month already, I find myself back at square one. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t stop these tears from flowing down my face.
I have experienced many events in the last several weeks that I would love to share, but I’m just too tired.
Too tired to think.
Too tired to write.
Too tired to talk.
Too tired to sleep normally. How is that even possible?
Just know that I am okay. I am getting through each and every day.
I may not be thriving at the moment, but I am surviving.