Shawn’s brother shared the above quote with me shortly after Shawn passed away. I find that it resonates with me so much more now after a little bit of time. After losing Shawn to suicide, I honestly thought I would not truly smile or laugh again. I remember purposely leaving off exclamation marks in my texts because I did not even want to show any happiness or excitement, even in my punctuation. Can you tell I am the daughter of an English teacher?
I recently found a list Shawn wrote me of why he loved me. In it he wrote, “Your positive attitude about everything in life. Your smile and how it brightens not only me, but everyone around you. Your many laughs you have and how each is specific to the mood you are in. Meaning you still manage to laugh when you are mad or sad. How both your smile and your laugh are contagious.” While I still cry and grieve the loss of Shawn every single day, I am also learning to find some joy too. I am finding that these emotions, while very different, can live within me, side by side. I have to remember, Shawn would want me to laugh and smile because, well, that’s what he loved about me.
So today, I have to share the video that made me laugh. Two brothers convince their little sister of a zombie apocalypse after she gets her wisdom teeth out. Don’t worry Gracie, I would always save you over any cat!